Mom + Chicago
Dates: 7/17/19 - 7/20/19
travel distance: 100 miles in my own car
People: (Mom, Mother, Momma)
My mothers’ infrequent visits to my home include a weakly concealed cleanliness critique – where I am guaranteed to fail from:
hair in my brush
dust along the baseboards
random papers on the counter that should have been put where they belong
“My mother is a clean freak, who kept her home perpetually death ready – before it was trendy - in case she actually died and her mother arrived unannounced”
Cleaning and organizing are not my strengths, I outsource wherever I can. While I do my best to live an orderly life, it will never approach my mothers’ monastic standards.
She believes that - the only good mother is a dead mother - since death is the only freedom from a daughters’ obligation to please and a mother’s perpetual judgement…. While the concept is completely screwed up, it explains the stress + cleaning rituals I perform prior to her visits – including baseboard wiping and hairbrush cleaning - my prior violations.
“I treasure Mom’s judgy and joyful sides, both come from love and make me a better human ”
We’re a complicated and complimentary mother/daughter duo, our differences have connected us and challenged us to evolve for nearly half a century.
When mom turned 65 roles reversed and I began to worry about her. Medical appointments, aching hips, and fall injuries became regular topics in our conversations.
Where she had carefully protected our family, she was now becoming more fragile and needing help – even if she is too proud or protective to admit it.
Place: Chicago (aka home, my kinda town)
Neither the wind nor snow nor gloom of night will diminish the love I have for this town. Locals love to complain about:
the weather
how many politicians are ex-cons
and the increasing crime rates.
My excitement about Chicago is not easily diminished, since I lived in D.C during it’s “murder capital of the US” years – and am accustomed to a crack smoking & re-elected mayor and the general delusions of grandeur and unscrupulous behavior that DC politics perpetuate.
Chicago has:
friendly people
amazing food
a beach & a river
cultural activities to keep you busy more than 365 days a year
Spending a weekend as a tourist in my own town is an adventure race, designed to pack as much adventure as possible into the time available.
Our adventure:
Nothing says fun like a visit to the Magic Lounge, one of my favorite places to share with guests and friends. While the quality of the magicians varies nightly, the impeccable attention to ambiance and wise-cracking jokes from the bar magician guarantees a good time.
Trying to find deep slumber next to my sleepwalking mom in my dark elevated loft bedroom left me anxiously waiting, with one eye open, for a late night tumble down the stairs during her midnight trip to the bathroom.
I quickly recognized that my modern-loft lifestyle is not safe for kids nor seniors.
“Everything in my house is unstable - my furniture, my shower, my mother!”
We spent the next day strolling and lunching on Michigan Avenue, before heading to a facial with my favorite aesthetician, Cade. We ended the day with dinner at my favorite restaurant, Chicago Pizza Oven Grinder, with one of my favorite people, Nick.
We weathered the cold, wet mist as we strolled the Botanical Gardens' Rose and Japanese Gardens, quickly warming up after on the heated massage table during our couple’s massage. I am a complete weirdo who enjoys massages more while lying starkers next to a friend/family member.
The highlight of this day was dinner at my favorite place in town, Swati + John’s house, where great food, great wine and great friendship are always guaranteed.
A new hairdo for mom, courtesy of Juan at Salon 1800, before attending an Exploratory Writing Workshop - which espoused the benefits of dumping your un-edited thoughts, feelings, and struggles onto a blank page.
See the images below to get started!
“Exploratory writing left us feeling a little shallow and very hungry!”
We enjoyed turkey meatloaf during a late lunch at Beatrix, my mom’s 65+ community would call it dinner, before I dropped her off for her flight at Midway.
The visit was short and sweet, as was my senior-safety to-do list:
Get a hand rail for my bedroom stairs
Get a handrail for my shower
What I loved:
Time with my mom
CPOG with Nick
Dinner at Swati + John’s
Botanical Gardens
Beatrix meatloaf recipe
Hutch + Magic Lounge – perfect combination
What I didn’t love:
The fact that I never remember to take photos
My modern yet unsafe living conditions - for young and old
