Stop Nodding. Start Leading.

I was never a yes-person. During my annual review, my boss once shared: “You need to work on your suck-up skills.”

Truth is a critical core value for me, though earlier in my career, my delivery could have used a lot of polish.

For example, I shouldn't have told the CFO that he was the captain of THIS ship of fools while he protected a mediocre leader who had hired her brother into her chain of command and lied to us both for months.

I believe in showing up, speaking up, and standing up when it matters most. I am paid to think, to care, and to lead.

And...  my boss deserved my truth,  my best ideas, and my opinions - especially when they conflicted with his.

Secretly, albeit very secretly, I think he appreciated it. Many leaders do.

The problem is that in many rooms, yes-men (or yes-people) become the norm rather than the exception.

They nod quietly, waiting to see what the boss thinks before speaking.

It feels like alignment, but it is self-protecting silence.

This type of risk-avoidance feels like harmony, but it costs your team and your business more than you think.

If your culture rewards passive agreement, you aren't leading, and you are probably failing.

Because the best ideas rarely come from the top. Diverse teams solve problems better, but only if everyone speaks up (Harvard Business Review).

Silence is not golden, and it isn't where innovation happens.

Your company can't afford yes-people; the cost of agreement is too high, because it is unlikely your goals will be achieved in a room full of silently bobbing heads.

Ask Better Questions

🪩 Want to shift your culture? Start with great questions:

• Who disagrees with this, and why?

• What are we missing?

• What assumptions are we making?

• What is the worst thing that could happen if we are wrong?

Then recognize and reward the people who speak up.

The ones who challenge you with respect.

The ones who say, “I do not think that is the best idea, and here is why.”

They are giving you a new insight that could improve the outcome (McKinsey).

The strongest leaders build trust, not consensus.

And if you are the person holding back, this next part is for you.

How to Speak Up Safely

My executive coaching clients sometimes struggle to speak up for very real reasons. If you want to use your voice but do not feel safe yet, start small:

Prepare. Before your next meeting, jot down your honest take on an issue or idea.

Pause and reflect. During the meeting, notice what you are thinking AND not saying, and most importantly: why. What are you afraid of? What might happen if you speak up?

Test your fear. What is the worst-case scenario if you share your thoughts respectfully?

Start small. Test your voice in low-stakes moments by asking a question or sharing a different perspective.

Get support. A coach or trusted peer can help you shape your message and build your confidence.

Find Your Voice. Your Team Needs It.

Your voice is a contribution. Sharing your perspective might feel risky, but staying silent guarantees nothing will change. 

Speak up, even if your voice shakes.

That one comment, question, or idea might be the turning point your team did not know it needed.

🪩 Not sure whether your team is telling you the truth or simply saying what feels safest? Set up a time and let’s talk about your culture.